The new basic bitch, just fucked a hobbit sort of a style, all about flowers and sourdough, happens to be something that I’m mildly interested in. Has this originated from a love of period dramas and unrealistic goals of running around in flower fields in over the top ballgowns towards sexy men, probably, yeah, a little bit. But that’s okay. So if you also have these desires here are some cute *7 little horny dwarf man filled cottages to live out you fantasies.
*cottages may or may not actually come with aforementioned horny dwarfs
Traditional 1930’s cottage
- First off we have a Traditional 1930’s cottage with mature garden located in the beautiful little coastal town of Merricks in Victoria only 71km away from Melbourne. This little 3 bedroom cottage is set into 1.5 acres of graden and sparse scrub, really allowing for those scenic outdoor picnics and mushroom picking adventures. The property costs $330 per night and offers a 10% discount on all stays 1 week or longer.
Refurbished miners cottage
- Next up is a Refurbished miners cottage located in Moota South Australia. This 2 bedroom home has all you could need including an indoor fireplace, free WiFi and a black claw footed bath perfect for reading that fairy smut, that I know your into. The house also won’t break your bank account costing only $152 per night, and yes that is a small personal fairy garden you see there.
French cottage
- Nothing says cottage-whore like adding a little bit of France and that’s apparently exactly what you get with this “French Cottage Beechworth with alfresco garden”, situated in none other than Victoria’s own Beechworth, this little cottage may look rustic and a bit shabby on the inside but the interiors well and truely make up for that. The cottage has beautiful light romatic interiors, where half the websites page feature a random nuclear family for no apparent reason. The house is a bit more on the expensive side at $354 per night, but the open ligh filled 3 bedroom house seems all worth it when you see the fancy as manicured gardens out back.
Lauri’s cottage
- The location and setting of Lauri’s Cottage absolutely screams cottage-core dreams, this beautiful stone cottage is situated right on the banks of the river, offering stunning views from many of the rooms. The house is a two bedroom and pet-friendly allowing for plenty of space for all members of the family. It may seem a bot dated in it’s furnishings but is has modern kitchens and bathrooms, and lets face it with the 5 acres you now have your not going to spend very much time inside. The house sits at $201 per night which seems very reasonable for what you get in this Wheatsheaf, Victoria property.
Haven cottage
- If your looking for a break on Kangaroo island than Haven Cottage is the one, it is a 3 bedroom 1 bathroom house allowing up to 7 guests, so you and all your 2 friends could stay here very comfortably leaving space for “the friends I haven’t met yet” just like Azura in Fairytopia, who hid from her lack of friends with inspirational quotes. Aside from this the house the house has free Wifi and a beautiful private garden full of roses. The house is a bit more expensive at $300 per night.
The boot store cottage
- Situated only a ten minute drive from the Adelaide CBD in Kensington is this beautiful blue 1 bedroom cottage, with terracotta accents, named The boot store cottage. This house offers the comforts of a country cottage but with convenience of the city, and although it is small it comes with that full kitchen still enabling you to bake that sourdough. The house is quite cheap listed at $110 per night and would be an excellent stay all year round with both an air-con and an indoor fireplace.
Kraft house
- Now for one that’ll break the banks a bit, but if your a large party looking for a cottage style place to stay then look no further than the Kraft house located amonst old vineyards offering beautiful views and stunning surroundings. It will however, cost you a pretty penny of $1,400 per night for this 5 bedroom 5.5 bath house. It does have however, some of the best interiors from the list, with gorgeous green wallpapering and golden accents, so if this is your vibe give this Rowland Flat, South Australia home a go.
Ttekceba Retreat
- This next one would have to be by far my favourite on the list, between it’s extensive libraries, over the top, eclectic furnishings and ability to mold the outside wilderness so easily and beautifully with the interior, Ttekceba Retreat is an absolute must when visiting the Dandenong Ranges. This house also has a pool and stunning gardens all available for just $295 a night
The candlewick cottage
- This option is a bit closer to that cottage-core whimsy than the last offering the real vibes of Aurora’s childhood home in Sleeping Beauty. The Candlewick cottage is another in Mt Dandenong and where the last was tiny and perfect for two this one boasts 4 bedrooms fit for up to 8 guests. The warm toned wood panelling of the interior, really give the place a homey feel and the downstairs fireplaces are sure to keep everyone nice and cosy through those chilly winter nights. This house is priced at just $416 per night much cheaper than houses of similar size on this list.
Little bird cottage
- Finally we have Little bird cottage at Tamborine mountain, this house easily has the most magical exterior and one of the best sourdough baking kitchens on the list. The house is a two bedroom one bath and features beautiful minimalist styling, as to not take away from the amazing surroundings of this location. The house is priced at $240 per night and has a 4.99 rating on AirBnB, showcasing just how perfect this house is.
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